It is inevitable that all of us will face difficulties and challenges as we go through our lives. A beloved family member may fall sick, we will fall sick ourselves, we will not make a team that we so desperately wanted to and worked hard for. A lot of the time, it boils down to making a tough decision immersed in uncertainties.

The Buddhists have it right - Life is suffering. But some people do not get bogged down in such challenges, they may even thrive in them. How does one handle such a situation? The real issue is the personal relationship that we have with these challenges.

“The Wolf You Feed” story

An old Cherokee Indian chief was teaching his grandson about life. He said, “A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a fight between two wolves. The Dark one is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The Light Wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you grandson…and inside every other person on the face of this earth.” The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee smiled and simply said, “The one you feed”.

We have a choice!

You may have heard this story before. Or it may be your first time hearing it. It serves as a good reminder that we have power over our internal states.

Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

‐ Epictetus, The Enchiridion (“The Manual”)

Which wolf we feed is a life-changing decision. We need to make this every single moment of every day.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

‐ Viktor E. Frankl, “Man’s search for meaning”

“Yin & Yang”

Yin and Yang is a Chinese philosophical concept that describes how obviously opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.

The yin-yang symbol consists of a circle divided into two halves by a curve. The “Yin side” half of the circle is black, and the other is white, for the yang side. A dot of each color is situated near the center of the other’s half. The small dots represent the idea that both sides carry the seed of the other.

Now - the real ending to the story

The old Cherokee smiled and replied, “If you feed them right, they both win. You see, if I only feed the white wolf, the black wolf will hide in the dark waiting for me to falter so that it can pounce and get the attention he craves. He will always be angry and will always be fighting the white wolf. But if I acknowledge him, both he and the white wolf can be satisfied, and we all win.

For the black wolf has qualities that I need and that the white wolf lacks: tenacity, courage, fearlessness, strength of will, and resourcefulness. The white wolf instead provides compassion, caring, heart, and the ability to value the needs of others over my own.

You see, the two wolves need each other. Feeding only one and starving the other will eventually make both uncontrollable. Caring for both allows them both to serve you, so that you can do something greater, something good with your time on earth. Feed them both, and you will quiet their internal struggle for your attention, and, when there is no battle inside, you can then hear the voices of deeper knowledge that will guide you in choosing the right path in every circumstance.

Peace, my son, is what we must all strive for in life. He who has peace inside has everything. He who harbors a storm within his heart and soul has nothing. How you choose to treat the opposing forces within you will ultimately determine how you live.”

Peace is Happiness

Peace is happiness at rest and what you want most of the time, but you can also convert peace to happiness at any time.

‐ Naval Ravikant